Getting Rid of Squirrels: Divide & Conquer

The Accidental Celebrity…Rocky? Is That You?

zeroinertia — Sat, 13 Mar 2010 18:24:29 +0000

So…what is it with the squirrels? For the last year or so, every time I turn on my TV or browse YouTube, I come across snippets of film that shows squirrels terrifying people, or making them laugh, or simply annoying the heck out of them. How, pray tell, did squirrels suddenly become the darling of John Q. Public and the media? Make no mistake about it – even though they are portrayed in a negative light, squirrels are ‘in’. Yup, that’s right. Popular. Trendy. Current. Sexy, if you will.

So, let’s think about that. Here we have a rodent-like creature scurrying around the fringes of our homes and businesses. As rodents go, squirrels are a cross between being the James Dean and the James Bond of the ratty set, with sleek bodies, luxurious tails, and a street-smart attitude, even in the most remote residential areas. Bad boys. Living on the fringes, thumbing their noses at conventional norms and polite society.

Can it be that squrrels epitomize everything we love and hate in ourselves? The fearlessness, the brash disregard for social etiquette, and the ability to stay cool under any circumstances while continuing to operate with impunity? No wonder we can’t decide whether we want to remove squirrels from our immediate environment, or hang their posters in our basement.

Ah, yes…the “bad boys” of Mother Nature. And don’t most of us deep down love the bad boys?

Doggone Squirrels…

zeroinertia — Thu, 28 Jan 2010 00:22:56 +0000

My Sheltie Willie loves squirrels. Well, he actually doesn’t love them, but he loves to chase ‘em. His love of this ‘sport’ and his obsession to round up anything with legs (Shelties love to herd!) has actually been a factor in reducing the number of squirrels in our immediate vicinity. They seem far more comfortable now to remain on the perimiter of the yard in the edges of the woods where Willie’s electronic collar won’t let him go.

Our yard is large, so when we do see a squirrel outside, it’s treat time for the pooch! We whisper excitedely, “Squirrel, Willie!” and he begins to twirl like a ballerina in exquisite anticipation! After about 30 seconds of this, we gently open the door and he shoots out like a bullet…as soon as the squirrels hear him they bolt, and once they do, Willie’s on the job! He chases them to the edge of the yard, and once they are across the line, he marches around all fluffed up and proud as a peacock!

This is kind of a nice arrangement! Unlike a cat, he won’t bring any bloody carcasses to the back door (I don’t think so, anyway!). It’s a win-win for all parties….we keep the furry rodents at bay, Willie gets some exercise and some fun, and the squirrels? Well, they get the thrill of the chase and the satisfaction of knowing they outsmarted that dog once again. At least they think they have.

All in a day’s work! Now, if he could just do the same for the moles….

A Squirrel-Proof Bird Feeder? Well, There Is One…

zeroinertia — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 01:05:12 +0000

Actually, there is a squirrel-proof feeder – at least at my house – that works like a charm. It’s one of those lucite lean-to looking things that sticks to your window with suction cups. Not as elaborate as some of the nice cedar or metal birdfeeders out there, this one is cool because you can stick it to a window evon on the second floor and the squirrels can’t get to it. (That is if it isn’t close to the roof, a tree, a railing or anything else that gives the wiley little buggers a leg up!)

Of course there are drawbacks to these as well – because they’re stuck to the window, if it’s off the ground you have to OPEN the window to fill it or do it from outside with a ladder or something (ridiculous), so I put mine in my livingroom window, which is one of three right next to each other. I have to open the window next to it and reach out to fill the feeder. A pain, yes. Worth it? Definitely!

Even though my website RemoveSquirrels.com is focused on getting rid of squirrels, they do have their moments. Here’s my favorite squirrel video this week – not a new one but I just came across it and it’s awesome: " target="_blank">Squirrels Gone Wild. Enjoy!!!

Squirrel Justice…

zeroinertia — Sat, 31 Oct 2009 21:36:57 +0000

I say we round up all the perpetrators of the gang-rape of that 15-year old girl in California. Then we round up all the dirt bags that stood around and watched. We tie their hands and feet, smear ‘em with honey, dip ‘em in a vat of sunflower seeds and throw them all in a cage with 150 starving squirrels. Case closed.

Sciurophobia…what….?????

zeroinertia — Fri, 30 Oct 2009 11:11:16 +0000

Sciurophobia. Fear of squirrels. I thought that was so weird when I first heard it, but the more I thought about it the less weird it seemed. People have fears of dogs, mice, snakes…all sorts of stuff, so I guess it’s not that strange at all. I have to admit, once in a while when I’m sitting on my deck and I start to realize how many squirrels are running around at the edge of the yard where the woods meet the grass, it can kind of freak me out.

When I was trapping the squirrels to try and get a handle on their presence in my yard I would look at them in the live trap and think they were really sort of rodent-looking. Their tails are fluffy, but when you look up close it looks like a rat tail with a bunch of hair stuck on in. Gave me the willies for a bit.

Four-Legged Ghouls

zeroinertia — Thu, 29 Oct 2009 11:23:25 +0000

Squirrels are nothing if not, well…consistent. Came across this column in the Glens Falls Post Star by Doug Gruse…”Pumpkin Plunders“. Pretty funny – if you have squirrels, you’ll appreciate it! Do we all need to bring out pumpkins and Halloweeen bounty in to keep it safe from these urban scrounges?! Nah. Waaaay too much fun!

Popular Pains!

zeroinertia — Thu, 29 Oct 2009 00:22:55 +0000

So…what is our fascination with squirrels, anyway? Is it just their amazing athletic prowess? That perky tail? The bright, intelligent (??) big brown eyes? Just seems like so many people are always checkin’ ’em out. There’s about a billion hilarious YouTube videos out there, I should probably link to some of those. One of my most recent favorites was the squirrel caught on camera by a young couple….so typical – that look into the camera like, “What? Huh? Can I play? What’cha doin’? Hey! Hey!” You’d think they own the world.

Black Squirrels!

zeroinertia — Wed, 28 Oct 2009 16:20:01 +0000

Yes, there is such a thing as black squirrels! Don’t see them much in the Adirondacks, but they’re everywhere in Syracuse NY. They’re actually – dare I say – kind of cool looking! Still rats with tails, but on the elegant side! Ha!

Welcome Squirrel…uh, Lovers? Haters? Fans? Whatever!

zeroinertia — Wed, 28 Oct 2009 01:17:27 +0000

RemoveSquirrels.com is a website that I created a year or two ago. Like many things in my life that have gone unresolved, I started writing about it to learn more about them and resolve the problem(s) in one way or the other over time. And THAT goes for SQUIRRELS tenfold. Unfortunately, I’m still writing but it hasn’t been resolved…

I used to like squirrels. Every home I have ever owned has had squirrels. We had a house in Maine one time where we had a feeder hanging outside our dining room window 2 stories off the ground, and those little buggers would leap off the roof to get to it! Occasionally they would fall to the driveway, you’d feel sure they probably had at minimum some serious internal injuries, but nope! Up and off they would go, to come back and fight another day. Entertaining.

Like I said, it used to be cute.

I also like birds. Just to watch, no Audobon-like behaviors or anything. Two years ago I had a bird feeder perched on top of a dead tree stump about 15 feet high – perfect. All kinds of Adirondack-loving birds showed up. But then came the squirrels. They ravaged my nice feeder, no joke. Then came the flying squirrels at night…ridiculous. Tore the windows out of it and ate everything in sight, knocking a good portion of seed to the ground as they went, an open invitation to all creatures great and small, apparently.

Next thing you know, weeks later, there’s a racoon sitting up there big as life eating out of the thing in broad daylight, looking at me like, “Where’s my Coke, lady?” Later that summer, we had a black bear roaming our neighborhood tearing up all the feeders. He showed up in our garage one night drinking out of the dog dish . My husband nearly tripped over him when he opened the kitchen door.

Can I really blame that on the squirrels? You better believe it. I gave up my bird feeder last year, but they must have gotten a good start or like the neighborhood. They’re STILL everywhere. Arrrgghhh!!!

I get emails from folks a lot who express frustration and amazement at these guys…no matter what they do, doesn’t seem to help. Feel free to share your experience or just pay a visit.